ok so last night i was like "nick, my family is going to NASA tomorrow" and he was like "!!!!" and i was like "!!!!!" and he was like "wuts the PLAN" and i was like "I DONT KNOW." so we decided to wing it. and so this morning, my mom wakes me up at like 9 and is liek "come eat pancakes before i LEAVE". so of course i get excited cause that means they are going, and so i waited for like EVER for them to leave...which is tough when ur parents are obviously gettting old "where are my keys????""iono where are my glasses???" "IM Oooooolllldddddd..."hahah. so finally they get out of the house, and i called cracker nut and im like "DUDE get ur ass here." so he comes and were like YAY. and we go lay down on the bed and share a romantic moment together in each others arms...nick is soo cute i love him to death. hehe hes soo soft and comfy, and i love hugging him. so after that we take pictures of OURSELVES!!!!!!!! yay, those turned out awesome and we look so cuteeeeeeeeeee!!! im glad we finally have pics of ourselves together. so then we go down and eat lunch, and look at some pics of my ndn family...hahah nick is scared now. apparently we all look pissed off.hahah those white ppl who smile too much. lol so after that we went back upstairs...made some looooveeee and got down the afternoon? newho, that was soo much fun relacking with my quishy hehe. so finally he freaked, and he left. but we talked for like the entire day...which was Freaking awesome. and then we started talking bout colleges and we actually made a list of the colleges we will apply too !!!! yay, progress...now for getting in .haha. mmmm i cant wait to go to college with nick  :)...i love him so much and i know staying together is more than worth it...i cant wait till we start our lives togther *dreamy look* haaha mmmm LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH SQUISHY!!!!

love,

 span

            There’s a girl in my life. Her name is Span, and while this writing is going to probably seem trite, I’ve just got to express my love and this is one of the few ways I know how. Ever since I met her she’s been that guiding lantern in my life. Whenever I stray from the path, she brings me back on, sure to guide me to the destination of love. Whenever I do something stupid or ignore a responsibility, she gives me a kind whack over the head (and it truly is kind) and reminds me I need to do it. Just the other day in NHS I was spitting off some stupid stuff about how I didn’t want to do it for some stupid reason like it was too much work. But she told me it was a good idea for college apps and in addition pointed out that we would be able to spend a lot more time together. Of course I joined, and I’m glad she was there to prevent me from being an idiot. And whenever I get over worried or worked up in something, she calms me down. The other day when my chest was hurting, she told me it was probably just a soar muscle. And when I told her how overwhelmed I was, she promised she would help me finish all my work. How many girls would do that? How many people would do that? Sacrifice their precious time and effort to help another. That’s altruism. And that’s impossible to come by these days. But I guess anything is possible in love. She’s that person I can have a good time with; not only my lover, but my whimsical best friend. I dance with her, “sing” to her, and joke with her. She tells me jokes and teases me, but its always fun. Just tonight we pretended we were crazy civil war soldiers who were shooting at each other and I shot her big toe and pinky and she shot my ass and **** off. I know, its harsh, but eventually she sewed it back on. Yeah, ok, most people are gonna call us freaks, but hell, its fun, its entertaining, and it always makes me smile and brightens my day. But most of all, she’s my lover. It seems like I say I love you every 10 minutes, if not to her then in my head or dreams. And while some would say its overused and lost its meaning, I know it hasn’t, and I feel it hasn’t. I still feel that love of which I speak and write and it still feels pretty friggen good. Amazing. Awesome. Indescribable. All those words that I’ve ever used and all these words Im using, that is what love is. To be honest, I should write Span a lot more. Hell I should write her every day to profess my love, but I don’t. I’m far from perfect, but the beauty of Span is she always understands. I don’t know how she puts up with some of the stuff I do, but she does, and I think the kindness she displays in such times is perhaps one of the greatest expressions of her love.

What can I say? I love her. I love her so much. I need her. That’s why I mumble in my sleep and cry (literally, though I haven’t told her) out for her when I don’t have her. That’s why I let all the guys call me whipped. Because I’m at the point where I have all I need: Span. And honestly, while other stuff does matter, as long as I have her I know I can survive. And I know I’ll always have her, so fuck all of you that say I won’t, because I will. Love is all I have and all I’m filled with. I love Span more than anyone could imagine and I thank God every day for the fact that I have her. It truly is amazing that a girl from south India could meet a boy from Texas let alone hook up with him. That’s a miracle and I know it’s a sign she’ll be mine forever. I love you Span, forever and ever, and I will never let you go.

Your Squishy Foreber and eber wit wots of wuv,

Nick

“When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.”

“We can only learn to love by loving.”

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”

“Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.”

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”

Span’s Favorite ;): “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

“To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”

“Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.”

“To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.”

“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.”

“For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”

“I don’t think anyone can DO anything that would make him worthy of love. Love is a gift and cannot be earned. It can only be given.”

“The important thing was to love rather than to be loved.”

And finally “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”

I LOVE YOU SPAN.

Span is the most amazing fucking person ever.

Ok, so we hit a slight bump in the road. No big deal. We've both had rough times, especially Span. But once again, she's shown me her fucking amazing strength and overpowered this crap that gets piled on her. I have no idea how she does it. She doesn't pretend as if it doesn't happen, but she acts normal. She loves me just as much. And she doesn't give into pressure from the outside world. Sure, we don't see eachother as much as we used to...but we still talk, alot. And all this has done, for me at least, has made me love her more. Love is a battle that I'm not going to lose. Right now, I don't give a damn what happens to Span, I'm not going to stop loving her. If they sue me, I'll love her. If I never see her and have to write her letters, I'll love her. If I only talk on AIM and see her in school, I'll love her. If they ship her to India, I'll love her. And I'll never let go. Where she goes, I will go. If they send her to India I will do everything in my power to get her out. Because after all this I'm not going to see anything happen to her. She's put up with enough. I want to share the burden, but I feel as if I can't. She apologized to me for having to deal with all this, but I dont know why. If anything I should apologize to her for having to deal with all this, and I truely am sorry. But it really meant something that even after all this she still felt as though I was suffering, I mean, it just really gives you the sense that someone knows you and cares about you alot more than you could ever understand.

I'm sitting here, talking to her and she's helping me do my math and it just makes me realize how gifted she is. She excels in everything she does. HOSA, Math and Science, Debate, School the bedroom, and being the greatest girlfriend a guy could ever ask for. Talk about fucking talented. And look at me. Hell, I don't know why she dates me. I guess its because I love her and I always will and I always try to show my love as best I can, even though I know it could never be enough. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a burden on her, but how could love ever be a burden? I hope she doesn't feel that way, and I know she doesn't. But I wish I could do more. I wish I could some how take my love and show it at the next level, show it at the highest level. And someday I will.

Span, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than anyone, anyperson, anywhere. You mean so much to me I would give my life for you. I would do anything for you as long as it would make you happy. Because you're so beautiful. You have the prettiest eyes and hair and other physical features ;). but most of all I love you cause you're so kind. Because you baby me and treat me so well I always smile no matter what. Because you always help me and try to make me a better person. Thats invaluable. I've never met anyone like you, ever, and I know I never will. Sure, they'll call us foolish idiots and laugh when we say it'll last forever, but fuck them. What do they know? Obviously not of love.

I love you, and I will forever and ever, no matter what, through the storm and the calm. It will be a long battle and painful war, but we will undoubtidly triumph, as we have so many times together in the past. We are an undefeatable force. We alone can conquer anything, for we have a power greater than love. I love you Span, I love you so much.

Yours forever,

Nick

wow. so im finally going to update this thing cause its just bothering me. yup so lets see school sucks ass. kinda. some classes are good but like others are like wtf!!! my highlight of everyday of course is seeing  NICK!!!!!! ahh love you !! and the kolaches!!! lol our drives to school and back are so much fun...lol "everybody knows" hahah...not to mention the red lights . i wish i could see him more at school, but lunch and bio2 are awesome neways. hmm so yesterday nick and i took a visit to the past and went to the lake...omg sooo awesome...chilled on the grass...paranoid cause we were on public property...lol. so then it was time to go and we had an awesome goodbye  which kinda took like 10 min...but then we saw nick's mom and her neighbor walking and so we were like ...uhh yea time to go.

i love you nick! ur so freaking awesome and adorable...damn the baby voice .hehe i wuv you forever and ever .

span

The last couple days before skool were great. Monday we celebrated going out for 7 months. Hard to believe its been that long. Really really hard to believe. I gave her some roses and chocolate chips(which she loves) and she snarfed them down. Although when we went out and came back, half were gone apparantly because my brother thought I set them out for him...But anways, we went out to the mall and shopped around, apparantly Im a mama's boy because I bought my mom candles, but thats ok. That was fun. Then Span had to pee. Then it started raining so I had to get in the car and pick up so she didn't get wet. Which was good, i dont want to see my Spanny girl all wet and not dry. Then it started pouring rain on the way home, worst I've ever driven in. I was comforted by Span telling me her "near-crash expirience" which was freaky-deaky. Then when we got out of the car we got soaked anyway, so blah. But we dried eachother off via use of friction. Yes, yes, I am just that fast. In fact, by rubbing myself so fast I managed to create a fire we could both warm up with(rubbing on logs, not Span, yes, I got a splinter in it). So then we pranced nakedly around and had to go drop my brother off at football pickup gear day. It was boring for 30 minutes, but we survived, staring at eachother. Was a great day :).

Today was pretty cool as well. Crappy classes and teachers but thats OK I guess. Spanish IV, that sux, Im dropping it. But I got to pick Span up, and after our own near-crash expirience(stupid people slamming breaks) we got to skool alright. The whole "2 nick brown" thing is kind of gay, but I found my way, so yay. Lunch again with Span, then a pysco english teacher who is like a friggen robot with no eyebrows and her eyes popping out of her head. It was scary. And she gave us homework, that ho. But I got to see Span afterwards and she eased the pain. So we drove around and didn't know if we beat span's bus to her house or if it beat us, fortunately the former. So I dropped her and came home where I messed around.

Span is hot as fucking hell.

Love, Nick